A Strong Handshake

Have you ever wondered if you needed to give a strong handshake? Do you know how to give and receive a strong handshake? Let's talk about it.

I want to share something very personal with you, and I'm sure that people take different positions on the aisles. This is going to challenge the way we look at things, and you can tell that I'm giving up too much at the beginning. But I didn't really give you anything, did I?

Let's say someone walks up to you, smiles at you, and extends a hand with an open palm. What would you do? Would you respond in kind? If yes, would you do it freely, motivationally, or out of necessity? If not, what would you do? Would you respond with a knuckle, a bow, or keep the hand hanging with a word of greeting? Why? Keep that somewhere.

Let's talk about a strong handshake, what it means, and how it became the norm. Additionally, I'll share my dilemma with you, and at dawn, we shall be able to make sense of everything.

What Does A Strong Handshake Mean?

The word “strong” refers to strength and is used synonymously with firmness to denote an attribute of toughness. It is used to describe someone or something that is not easily moved or taken down. It is opposed to weakness and is often associated with power and masculinity.

The word “handshake” is a compound word, formed from the combination of a noun, “hand,” and a verb, “shake.” It refers to the act of grasping someone's hand to show agreement or as a sign of greeting, briefly moving both hands up and down simultaneously. A hand is a part of the body, and a shake is an act of moving something back and forth and up and down.

Therefore, a strong handshake is the firm grasping of another's hand, briefly moving up and down to signify an agreement or a form of greeting. It embodies strength and is often seen as a sign of confidence and maturity.

However, it is not a given that everyone gives a strong or firm handshake. Many people are not even accustomed to handshakes, and in the event that one is required of them, what happens? What if they respond with a soft handshake? Normally, this would create an impression of weakness, but is that really the case for them?

How Did a Firm or Strong Handshake Become the Norm?

In places like the Americas and Europe, people are accustomed to handshakes. Americans and Europeans commonly practiced it among themselves, while Europeans also engaged in hugs and kisses. Subsequently, the practice extended to Africa and parts of Asia, regions where bowing and prostration were the traditional norms. Perhaps these still exist, though less so than in the past.

These different attitudes were displayed to signify respect, humility, and honor for the elderly, but giving and receiving a handshake brought another level to the play. It brought a show of strength and maturity, but therein comes a problem that I shall bring up in a moment. Therefore, a strong handshake is emphasized now and then.

The origins of handshakes are generally speculative. Some theories posit roots as far back as the 9th-century BCE in Assyria and the 5th-century BCE in Greece. In these societies, Assyrians and Greeks would open their palms to show that they were unarmed and harmless, and they would shake hands as a gesture of peace. A similar concept of peace and trust prevailed in Medieval Europe.

This aspect is common to other ideas surrounding handshaking up to the 17th-century group known as Quakers. Quakers were a non-creedal, nontraditional Christian sect in Europe, dedicated to egalitarianism and peaceful living. Perhaps they still live today, but let's talk about them some other time.

How about a strong handshake? There is a suggestion that the act of giving a strong handshake was necessitated in ancient times to dislodge any possible weapons that were hidden within the sleeves covering the arms of the people involved. But the act seemed to have evolved in some sense to a match of superiority and manipulation, especially with a strong look in the eyes.

My Cultural Dilemma With A Strong Handshake

Growing up, I spent a good portion of my life with my late mother and another good bit with her brother, my uncle. Living with my mother, there were times I said and did things I wasn't supposed to, but I wasn't given to shaking hands with people. The few times an adult offered a hand, I would respond with both hands, bowing my head.

The same pattern continued when I stayed with my uncle. Often times, I had to receive items such as money to buy something with both hands. Sometimes, with one hand supporting the other. It wasn't a show of weakness, but of respect and humbleness.

Doing otherwise was deemed disrespectful. At least, I was made to believe that was the case. The worst was looking an elder, that is, someone older than myself, eyeball to eyeball. You must be very disrespectful and untrained to exhibit such an attitude. But here comes the problem.

Over time, I noticed that people were rather doing the opposite. I remember watching a child shake hands with an adult using a single hand. “Wow!” I was surprised no one scolded the child. Then, as time went on, I realized that those who applied two hands were generally perceived as weaklings. “What!” I marveled. Okay.

Who wants to be seen as a weakling? Not me. But I wasn't going to give up the lifestyle I was accustomed to, not because I wanted to keep it, but because I was convinced it was the right way to live. However, I saw the need to redress, as the change was swiftly taking place. Do you know what I did?

I grappled with the situation. “Should I stop shaking people with two hands and add more strength to my handshakes?” I wondered in a soliloquy. The pressure from society and not wanting to be still after being left behind overwhelmed my thoughts.

Then, I realized that I was in a cultural dilemma. I'm having to choose between two ways of life and finding it hard to leave one for another. “What am I stressing myself over exactly? An etiquette? But why does it have to be this way?” My cultural dilemma with a strong handshake.

As the saying goes, “One man's food is another man's poison.” What works for one does not always work for another. It might even become a conflict of interest to another, especially within the context of societal norms. But without much pressure, one can think through such situations and find a common ground for themselves. No matter how little, there's always something to learn from our everyday living.

Finally, I realized that it's not about a universal right or wrong, but what one believes is right or wrong to do. And that could be traced back to what was instilled in our upbringing and our sensitivity to other people's responses.

Now, I can give a single handshake, shake with both hands, or refuse one if I have to. I can do that with respect and regard for those involved, myself included. That's what I resolved to do. What about you? Feel free to share your thoughts. Check this out: The Second Death In The Bible.